When the demolition hits,
it is all shaky gazes and smoky responses.
I feel my emotions collapse
into dust covered numbness
and I try to pull myself from rubble tears
but I am lost in sleep induced consciousness.
This is a depression
and I am a demolition expert.
I tear down the blocks of my smiles,
calm hums and loud laughter with a snap.
I have been doing this for years through friendships,
relationships and craftsmanship.
I know how to gage the level of the ground
explosion with unsteady feet and drooping eyelids.
I am a professional in my break down-
measure the collapse of my body
in sorrys and missed phone calls.
This is depression
and after many years,
each time is new and sudden wrecking ball
with knees buckle, body shakes
and me learning to be a foreman of my mental health once again.