Demolition Expert

When the demolition hits,

it is all shaky gazes and smoky responses.

I feel my emotions collapse

into dust covered numbness

and I try to pull myself from rubble tears

but I am lost in sleep induced consciousness.

This is a depression

and I am a demolition expert.

I tear down the blocks of my smiles,

calm hums and loud laughter with a snap.

I have been doing this for years through friendships,

relationships and craftsmanship.

I know how to gage the level of the ground

explosion with unsteady feet and drooping eyelids.

I am a professional in my break down-

measure the collapse of my body

in sorrys and missed phone calls.

This is depression

and after many years,

each time is new and sudden wrecking ball

with knees buckle, body shakes

and me learning to be a foreman of my mental health once again.