To Be In Love

I want to be in love
To feel the foolish skip of my heart
To stumble over myself for hours
While feeling at home
To feel like I have a home
A place to curl up in
A person with a welcoming smile
And I am able to forget
Their names
These exes hanging off the walls
Vintage wall art that really isn’t worth anything
I want to redecorate my heart
With a name, a person
Who remembers who I am
And can identify me come morning
I want to be in love
With someone
Who hears me
Sees the shift in my gaze
The twitch of my lips
And knows I am either in trouble
Or up to no good
Holds my cracking soul carefully
And tells me my scars are my story
Then doesn’t try to repair me
Instead lets me replay my fears like a broken record
Until I can sort out the lyrics
Banging inside my head
I want to be in love
To remember what a pulse feels like
To remember when my body didn’t clam up
With the idea of being touched
To not have the anxiety of having to meet
Or play to someone else’s fantasies
To feel like a person
And not another back issue of a discarded magazine
Lifelessly decaying on the back shelf of a used bookstore


One thought on “To Be In Love

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