Outside World

Lounging on the couch
With the day falling over my legs
Eyes half closed
A nap knocking at my door
I hear them outside
People erupting in music
Games and parties
And I hide beneath layers of hours
Lately, people tower over me
Flooding my space
Until it is hard to breathe
And crowds are my fear
Every event is a negotiation
I have to sell myself on a good time
For I am afraid of self-imposed isolation
So I am a salesperson
Trying to convince myself
That I can tolerate the jostling
The constant chatter
Roaring in my ears
My patience grows thinner every day
So I hide inside
With the days peeking in through the blinds
Telling me to get out
Knocking on the windows
Trying to sell me a social life
And no matter how I tell them
I don’t speak their language
That I don’t invest in their religion
My faith is slow roaming, humming to her own tune
She is nervous in their crowd
In their loudness
Awkward, she is very awkward
Yet, the outside world
Bangs on my windows, and my doors
And I count
And some days I let the outside world in
And others I hide under the blankets


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