Amanda, My name is (first published on my blog February 2015)


Amanda was an angry name

The two As on the end

Stretched up, up

Their tips sharpened with each inch, fangs

A perfect fit for sarcastic mouth

Tongue, a jilted bride

Betrayed by my emotions yet again

Until my name caged me in, watching

A prisoner of six letters



As a little girl

Reduced my name down to Mandy

For the curves of the M A N D and Y

Bent and swirled around my tongue with ease

A theme song for my laughter



Carefully wrote the letters as one continuous curve

As I grew older, my name became smaller

While my curves grew larger

Every arc fuelled comments and glares

I couldn’t hide the bend of my body behind syllables any longer

My mother kept trying to cram me into a little dress

No matter how much I tried to push it over my body

I couldn’t quite get it over my hips



The As were back

Two tall pillars, I hid behind

My name thundered from my mouth

Constructing a barrier

To keep me out of the reach of others’ ridicule

And to hold all my pain and anger inside



I was a new mother

No time for the frivolity of letters

For they all were transformed

Into the word




I misunderstood my As

Grew up thinking strong women were angry

Courageous women had to be aggressive

I found my strength in my moments of vulnerability

The As on both ends of my names

Stretched up, up

I discovered if I redefined them

I could unhinge their tips

So the arced up, expanding into wings

They framed the curves of my silhouette

I became my own masterpiece

Used them to find the light of my beauty

Instead of walls to hide behind


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