Fatigued

I am tired all the time my body breaks down down down my energy is held captive in my slumping frame lined with frustration because I remember I remember chasing after the sun and dancing until the stars fell and wake up refreshed recycled renewed ALIVE now I am a hostage in my body every day the hours weigh upon my back and all I can do is go sleep

Sleep is the enemy or rather a nagging child that no matter how much I feed it wants more more more until haggard hangs off my limbs and exhaustion tucks itself in the bags under my eyes leaving me to hum it a lullaby and all I can think of is that moment that moment when every day was a breath of fresh air invigorating and adventurous every second a celebration

To rejoice for I felt alive but now I feel like I am barely hanging on and every day is an argument with my body to get up to get out to MOVE and every step is a statement that I want to move forward and every breath slowly slowly slowly pushing forward until crumple upon the floor eyes closed snoring away the opportunities teasing at fingertips

Exhaustion defines me and the doctor keeps asking if there is someone there to unhinge my obligations so I would stop sagging over my chair eyes drooping and my response is a slur of no and lists of everything I do I need to do and want to do screaming my heart as fatigue sinks teeth in shaking me until energy runs away afraid and frustration sticks around for a free show falling falling falling

Asleep in my life and pandering to the thoughts of loss youth, narrowing my curves and settling for faceless man for this seems to be the cure per my medical professional and all I want to do is doctor his thinking so he can understand I remember the moment that moment when I chased after that sun and danced as the stars fell two years ago but now I am tired all the time

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s