Overweight

I knew you eyed me with sneered contempt

And tried to place shame upon my overly abundant curves

What if I told you

Each curve represented an experience

What if told you

Each layer served as armor

I found the bigger I got

The monsters stayed farther away

Snapping and growling at a distance

For each curve repulsed them but protected me

Draped my pain over my hips

In the memory of the little boys that kicked me in the shins as a little girl

Laced my anger along my stomach

For the young man that thought it was okay to sexually exploit a little girl

Collected my fear along my thighs

For the one man that tried to steal my virginity

And the other that had it then made me into a whore afterwards

Gathered my grief upon my back

For the hands and feet of past lovers and friends

So eager to claw and step on me as they passed through my life

Their insults lined my face

Until all I could see was guilt for becoming everything they said

I don’t have a full length mirror in my house

So I rarely looked myself in the eyes

All my mirrors hung above my head

So I became invisible

Closed my eyes, and daydreamed away

Every curve, every memory, every thought

Never wanted these moments

To cling for so long

Unable to forget every breathe or word spoken

Unable to forgive myself

I hold onto my guilt

Collecting up your sneered contempt

I won’t be holding your shame upon my overly abundant curves

I already had plenty of my own

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