Grief

I am splintering inside

Shattering into thousands of tiny pieces

Yet I wear a smile for you

Unable to tell you

The pain that is consuming me

I feel like I am imploding

Each day I slip farther and farther in

Until I am drowning

Consumed in my tears and rage

Yet I will wear a smile for you

Unable to speak of this

Tell you of the grief and fear

Knowing I am alone

No matter how I try and reach out

I am still standing alone

I am tired of hearing about time

I have had so many seconds

That each one burns a little more

Patience is all I have because I know the answer

No one is coming, so I am alone

Splintering more and more inside

Until some salesman knocks

And tries to sell me their secondhand dreams

Discardable I became overnight

I will wear a smile for you

And not tell you I sleep to stop hurting

I daydream of death and feel myself forging

Scrambling for something to distract me

I am tired of hearing about hope

I have hoped so much it is has become a show

With several seasons with the same story line

I guess I wasn’t one to have a happy ending

So I sit here quietly, smiling

Imploding into myself

Until I simply disappear

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