Archive for March, 2012

Caught in rush hour we are passengers sardined in a transit bus lost in the slow moving skyline of luxury cars, SUVs, and semi-trucks with back plastered to seat I watch my fellow captives slowly peel away the silence of screeching tires I form a story out of their every yawn, stretch and glazed over glances.

 

A young woman, Kandi, but there is nothing sweet about her.  Hair, the color of the horizon, bleeding down and pooling at her shoulders, while her days rest in dark streaks of black eyeliner.  Her mouth swollen red and permanently cruel in a sneer.  She scribbles out her rage onto tiny pieces of leftover napkins and gum wrappers.  Sometimes, I catch a glimpse of the jagged scars etched across her arms in a map of her journeys and dead ends, and I cant help but wonder if she is still lost.

 

A few seats down from her sat an older gentleman named Charles.  His eyes yellowed with age and the wrinkles of his face marked each step he took.  His lips only cracked when he thought of his son and his eyes only watered when he mention his wife’s name.  He lost them both in the same year:  one to sickness, and the other to someone’s carelessness.  The month of February is when he sees their ghosts reflected in windows, standing in doorways.  He can hear his son’s voice in the morning wind and smell his wife’s cooking in the night breezes, but with winter comes the spring then summer, when he can see his grandson, and see the reflections of his family within every one of the smiles.

 

Martha sat next to him cloaked in a heavy jacket and crowned in a burgundy hat.  She rarely spoke, but said volume with her eyes.  Scanning the smeared horizon, she fingered the cross weighting down her throat.  The rumbling of the bus reminds her of family, hometown, friends, life before marriage, the pain, the addiction and finally the redemption.  She volunteers at a downtown teen shelter, seeing herself in the mirrors of the young girls eyes.  At night, she dreams of walking on syringes and she can see her daughter’s face and how she was taken away by greedy hands and wolfen mouths drooling out screams, oozing out desires.  She prays everyday for the Lord to not forget her; not to lose her in the shuffle of the concrete city and congested skies.

 

The last rider was a youth shadowing the door, eyeing us quietly as music blared and apathy hung in chains, while anger peeked out from under sleeves in etchings of black and blue.  He reminds me of the city.  Compounded and cluttered, he hunched over in the corner.  Littered in graffiti of company logos and his eyes faded with chemical smog.  The skyline decorated his arms in jagged scars and his hands were worn, depreciating factories.  Pain loitered at the corners of his mouth, and grief hung in jagged strings at the end of his jeans.  Cold and hatred divided him into a patchwork of incomplete ideas lining the broken posture and scribbling upon his wrist.  Lost, he wanders over us with his eyes, before hiding in the shadows of the door.

 

Caught in rush hour we are passengers sardined in a transit bus lost in the slow moving skyline of luxury cars, SUVs, and semi-trucks with back plastered to seat I watch my fellow captives slowly peel away the silence of screeching tires I form a story out of their every yawn, stretch and glazed over glances, but cant help but wonder if they look at me, swollen with a child and wonder my story, give me an identity, contemplate my name, or am I just another nameless captive on this bus.

 

 

Motherhood

Posted: March 31, 2012 in Poem
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

It is all trial and error at the end of the day

You find yourself counting all their fingers and toes

To make sure they made it to bed all in one piece

 

 

This is the last role I thought I would choose

The Nightly Tucker-Inner, Silly Storyteller,

Ms. Fixer-Upper and this performance called mother

 

 

Motherhood has been good to me

Greeted daily by a pair of big brown eyes

And a smile that is so infectious

You find yourself laughing over the silliest things

His small hand slips into mine

And he begins to tell me he daily adventures

Smiling to myself, I find I want to chase

After the butterflies like he does

 

 

This is the last role I thought I would choose

The daily Rocketship Driver, Breakfast Chef

Imaginary Zookeeper and this performance called mother

 

 

Motherhood has been good to me

Waking up in the morning to find him

Wedged next to me with stuff animal in tow

And such a cute sight

You find yourself smiling and holding him close

 

 

He hugs me every day

And tells me how much he loves his momma

Smiling, I find myself wanting to gather him up

And dance ridiculously around the room

 

 

This is the last role I thought I would choose

The daily Monster Slayer, the Homework Enforcer

Chore Instructor and this performance called mother

 

 

Motherhood has been good to me

He comes running into the room

Dressed in his mischievous grin and armed with a giggle

And such a goofy sight as he climbs the couch

Laughing, I find myself pulling him up

And tickling him until his giggles fill the room

 

 

It is all trial and error at the end of the day

You find yourself counting all their fingers and toes

To make sure they made it to bed all in one piece

Built this house

Out of matchbooks

So watch your step

Because I tend to spark

And burn this house down

If you didn’t get the memo

Don’t worry

Another announcement

Will air in the morning

But you might want

To keep an extra

Bucket of water handy

Because I tend to spark

And set this house on fire

With this fork tongued

And crooked smile

I don’t mind

Being the monster

Under your bed

So remember that

These words are pointed

And sentences are sharp

If you didn’t get the memo

Don’t worry

They will deliver

Another one with morning paper

But you might want

To keep checking

Under the bed

For me

I built this house

Out of matchbooks

And I tend to spark

In this corner alone

I will watch

Pondering your moves

For I am

Not the one in the cage

Remember I don’t mind

Being the monster

Under your bed

So you better keep

That Bible close

Because I feel

Like a spider

These days

Slowly reeling you in

To my web of words

And better be careful

I tend to spark

And set this house on fire

If you didn’t get the memo

Don’t worry

Just close your eyes

And hope I disappear

With this fire

Blistering your skin

Remember I don’t mind

Being the monster

If it helps you sleep

Just be careful

I built this house

Out of matchbooks

And I tend to spark

Setting this house on fire

Birthday

Posted: March 30, 2012 in Poem
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

It was the fourth of May, her birthday

She found herself in the same diner in the morning, every Thursday

And this Thursday it was her birthday

All she wanted to do was forget

Forget the gray hair she found this morning,

The extra wrinkles tucked near her eyes

Or the fact she had been sleeping alone

So long she had forgotten his warmth, his scent

She sits alone in this same diner every Thursday

Where they met and spoke

Now she finds herself entertaining his ghost

Searching for his shadow amongst the booths and door

 

 

It was the fourth of May, her birthday

She walked down the same path, every afternoon

And this afternoon it was her birthday

All she wanted to do was remember

Remember the twinkle in his eye

The smile he got when discussing his work

And the feel of his hand in her own

It has been so long she had forgotten his step, voice

She walks along the same path alone every Thursday

Where they spoke and enjoyed each other

Now she finds herself chasing after his ghost

Searching for his shadow around every bend and turn

 

 

It was the fourth of May, her birthday

She found herself sitting by the same window, every Thursday evening

And this evening was her birthday

All she wanted to do was feel

Feel his arms around her as they waltzed

The music teasing at her skin

And the gentleness of his kiss

It has been so long she had forgotten his name, hands

She waits at the same window alone every Thursday

Where she could see him coming down the walkway

Now she finds herself waiting on ghosts

Looking for shadows that have long faded away

 

 

It was the fourth of May, her birthday

When he passed away

Together on her birthday, driving home

Slippery road and a turn taken too sharp

She woke up, and he slept

 

 

It was the fourth of May, her birthday

And she finds herself softly singing a lullaby every night

Laying these memories to rest

Tucking in her ghosts

Holding his shadow close

 

 

It was the fourth of May.

Long time ago, I participated in a poetry punch. This is where two poets face off for several rounds which vary in rules or themes. One round was impromptu and we were given a word we had to use in a poem and given a minute to think before reciting this poem. So.. Here is my request for a word to write a poem around or about…
From my Android phone on T-Mobile. The first nationwide 4G network.

Exhausted,

Naimah opened her mouth to yawn

And life fell in

Words flooded and filled her mouth

And she was left spitting out sentences for weeks

No matter how many crosswords, word finds and fill-ins completed

paragraphs kept spilling out of her mouth, mind, eyes

Until one day

Her voice just stopped

Exhausted,

Naimah opened her mouth to yawn

And the world fell in

Emotions clattered and rattled in her head

Rage flickered in news broadcasts

Happiness was caught on mute

Sadness for sale on the shopping network

The television delivered mood swings with every channel

And not matter how many times she changed

The emotions waged war behind her eyes, clenching teeth

Until one day

She just closed her eyes

Exhausted,

Naimah opened her mouth to yawn

And life fell in

Creativity and inspiration coated her skin

Expressing and creating

Her body became a mural

And eyeliner divided her face into grids

Ideas by numbers, paint by design

She found her life tattooed on her back

And she could hear her blood sing

Until one day

She just covered her ears

Exhausted,

Naimah opened her eyes

And saw the world..

And wondered how long she had been sleeping

How long had she been so exhausted..

That she forgot.

Life.

The World.

Open your eyes.

Listen.

Speak.

Let life fall in.

Yawn.

Snow globe this life

Shake it up until everything topples over

Falling from the sky inspiration to indignation

And all you can do is look up and hope to touch the sun

 

This year started with a break

Crack right down my soul

And all the right words and all the grand acts

 Couldn’t put this relationship back together again

So we sit and fester

Pretend to care, and frankly I caught you

One foot out the door

With some damn post-it note excuse

Some false hope, and

Some bland expression

And all the right words and all the grand acts

Couldn’t even see you as a friend

So we parted ways

Four months too late

 

Déjà vu this job has become

Routines and policies form grooves in fingertips, wrinkles

Gathering around my eyes and mouth, missing smiles

Capsized one department to pigeonhole me

Into the same job, restructuring with purpose

Position built and filled with 100% recycled employees

 

Snow globe this life

Shake it up until everything falls apart

Shattering these fragile emotions happiness to rage

And all you can do is look up and hope to be covered in clouds

 

This amusement park has been closed down

And the laughter we shared has since dissipated into dust

Our friendship at best was a carousel

Spinning around with the controls broken

You left me there stuck twirling in circles

Stomach sick with your arrogance

You left me whirling

Dizzy from your insensitivity and cruelty

I guess when the world likes you

It is easy to leave a few casualties

 

Found myself a small place with a view of the skyline

At night, the lights draw me in like a moth

Watching the cars tracing brightly colored paths

Roaring of the planes overhead reminds me of dragons

I found myself in a spell of a new beginning

This is the first chapter of me regaining myself

 

Snow globe this life

Shake it up until everything flitters away

Falling from the sky hope and faith

And all you can do is look up and hope to dress yourself up in blue

 

My son’s smile is what captures me

Any given moment

A twinkle in his eye, and a giggle

I spend my days wanting to scoop him up

Cradle him close

Pass the days playing imaginary animals

Galloping across the lands

His hand grasping my finger

And I remember him as a baby

My sweet boy

I will always love you

 

This life started with break, crack that splintered this soul, but with every break comes the birth of something stronger restructuring I will pull myself together with words and sounds creating a happy ending untypical and abstract with these words I will build myself a portrait for you to view storytelling thoughts caught in this smile and gaze, so grab this snow globe and give it a shake..one…two…three and watch this little girl fly away on raven wings gathering up the sun in fingertips decorating life with the clouds and dressing up in blue

“How you keep so many fr…

Posted: March 27, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

“How you keep so many friends?”
“In a Jar,” I reply…..

Let me

See you

So stop talking

Whisper if you must

Let me

Study the wrinkles

Teasing the corners

Of your eyes

Let me

Catch the slight smile

When you tell me

Your childhood antics

Let me

Find the twinkle

In your eyes

As you watch me

Let me

Enjoy the sound

Of your voice

When you say my name

Let me

Look at your hands

Watch as you nervously

Rub them together as we discuss the day

Let me

Find you

Tucked away in your scars

Presented in your stories

Let me

See you

Woke up to a silhouette sky black turning into blues running down sky like mascara trailing down my cheeks last night I watched you go whispering how much harder this was for you and all I could see was your smile or maybe it was the laughter that cued me this was rather easy for you to leave me standing here crying and you tell me to not to take it personally but how could this be anything but personal  you become inhuman or inhumane with your words clicking off my skin, untangling my emotions, peeling me away to skeletal existence but wait… don’t get me wrong… this poem is not about you but this poem is about me

Woke up to a silhouette sky with howling winds collecting my whimpers and screams whirling them around my head and a roaring erupted inside a fire burned deep that you never saw and I started to feel alive shaking my skin and engulfing my senses and I remember what it felt like to touch, feel, see and hear the world and taste freedom lodged between teeth, fingers grasping at the silhouette sky standing watching the Paper Moon and this fire burns deep and you will never know the depth of my rage or the strength I possess for… this poem is about me… and never about you

Woke up to a silhouette sky standing with head up challenging your shadow stretching before me along horizon and you are but one dragon I have had to slay in this lifetime and I am smiling now, laughing as you go with your excess baggage, rules, guidelines that caged this fire of mine to the point I forgot I could stand without leaning, speak without mumbling, look you straight in the eye for I can see who and what you are but nothing more than a shadow, glimpse of person that has no fire or depth, but created by a few clever lines and wasted smile, but hey… don’t take this personally… for this is a poem for me and not for you