Waiting for the Phone Call

I keep waiting for the phone call

I miss him

Every day

I feel as though I am always stumbling

Over his memory

As if hoping he will catch me

These days

I don’t tell my secrets as much

I remain silent

Waiting for him to call

Fighting the urge to dial his number

The phone company

Erased his last voice mail

As if to tell me to stop

Thinking

About him every day

A part of my history

Is missing

As if a fire has roared through my soul

Leaving my heart burnt

Soul singed

And a broken ribcage

To hold everything together

For one more day

One more day

I get scared

I will forget his face

The sound of his voice

And in turn

I will forget a part of me

So I selfishly claw

At the remnants of memories

Horde the photographs and every gift he gave me

I keep wishing I he would call

That I should have called him more

How quick life moves by

Until it finally stops

Comes to a lurch

Sending you off balance

Stumbling over

The memories

Waiting for a call that will never come

Grief hanging off the lines

Along your eyes and mouth

I think about him everyday

And daydream, we are old together

Talking to each other

Across a table

With our memories caught in coffee cups

And spilling over the sides

He is smiling at me

And I am smiling back

This is what I choose to remember

As I wait for the phone to ring